Search This Blog

Tuesday, February 5, 2013

BACKSTABBERS - HOW TO DEAL WITH BACKSTABBERS IN YOUR LIFE

Backstabber is someone who pretends to be your friend, or pretends to support you, or somebody who is nice to you face to face , and then turns around and  does or says bad things behind you back,  things that lead to you being harmed or exposed.




Most of the time backstabbers are very close people in our lives, they can be our friends, relatives, coworkers, etc. They can give us a shoulder to cry, spend time together, we share secrets and special moments with them. That's why you never see it coming when they betray you.


"Be careful with people we label as best friends, unless you know their intentions"

Why backstabbers  stab?
Backstabbers are upset with their lives and like to cause other people to be miserable, they are selfish person, insecure and confused people,  with low self esteem, jealous people who can't stands others achievements. Sorry but, backstabbers sometimes weren't  brought up with good morals or values.

Don't ignore a betrayal from a backstabber, it hurts, makes you angry, feel stupid, it's embarrassing, it can ruin you reputation,  it's shock, you may spend weeks, months, in disbelief, that close person to you is capable of  his actions. 

What to do when you're back stabbed ? You need to know  and do the following;

  • It's not your fault and you have the right to overreact, don't blame yourself, you have been a good friend all the time. Backstabber can make you sick, it's ok to overreact  but not ok to be violent. Give yourself a time to mourn, let the anger go,  try not to be violent.
  • Don't get into email war , (Facebook, phone, endless  confrontation) e.g i thought we were best friend bla bla bla, demanding explanation, it wont help, backstabbers love attention don't give  them a stage. Just write a short message, or make a short call, or face a backstabber, throw everything on her face, then keep your distance.
  • If someone betrays you, don't trust that person again, "the only person you can trust to keep a secret is the one who is dead" Chinese proverb.
  • Ignore a backstabber, by ignore a backstabber you will make a statement and send a message that you have very important things to do and very important people to meet, NO Time  to deal with backstabber loser.
  • Remember backstabbers are powerful when your back is turned.
  • Avoid revenge, because it will create more problems, "the best revenge is to move on" Jerry springer.
  • Learn to forgive and forget, you have learn the important lesson in life, you know who true friends are, delete all their memories, losers don't deserve a place in your heart or in your head. 



4 comments:

Anonymous said...

Thanks for the wonderful advice Eunice. I have been dealing with a manipulating backstabbing MIL/SIL combo since I met my husband 4 years ago. Despite ignoring their behavior they continue to sabotage me to other family members and mutual friends. MIL was recently exposed and confronted about her ways only to turn volatile and attempted to assault me with baby in arms. I am at a loss but have come to accept it for what it is. Your blog helped solidify that ignoring the behavior and deleting them from my life is the only option at this point. Thanks again.

Eunice Mahundi said...

I'm so sorry to hear that but i'm glad you have done something deleting them from your life, the important thing continue to stand for yoursellf and protect your family, all the best.

Anonymous said...

Maybe I should read more Chinese proverbs. :) Love this article, totally to the point.

Eunice Mahundi said...

Thanks for your comment