Why Women Don't Like Mummy's Boys
November 24,2010 by Eloise Houarno.
If a woman shares a man's bed, she probably won't settle to be second fiddle in his life.
Women always like hearing a potential partner speaking about his mother in a caring and respectful manner. In fact, men who have a good relationship with their mothers tend to be more understanding and respectful toward women, and we ladies know that.
But a man who talks a little too much about his mother will raise a "mummy's boy" flag in any woman's mind. It's not hard to understand why women don't like mummy's boys.
Here are some of the reasons why women don't like mummy's boys and solutions to how a man can keep both his mother and lover happy.
Women like menJust as men fantasise about nurses or French maids, women fantasiseabout firemen and policemen -- men that display strength, power and masculinity.
If a sexy fireman had to check with his mother every time he took off his clothes for a girl, his sex appeal would definitely fade. Women generally like strong men who aren't intimidated or easily influenced by other people, and that's a big reason why women don't like mummy's boys.
The thing is, mummy's boys often fulfill their mother's every wish, especially the most unreasonable ones -- and that's where the problems start.
If a man lives out his mother's every wish, chances are that he will not make decisions with his significant other without his mother's approval. It's hard enough to share decisions as a couple, so it is rare that a woman will tolerate a third person interfering in her relationship with her man. When a girl is 12 years old and her boyfriend can't go out because his mother doesn't approve, it's OK because he's still a child. When that boy becomes a man and his mother still rules his life, however, most women aren't that understanding.
Women want to be No. 1If a woman shares a man's bed, she probably won't settle to be second fiddle in his life.
It is normal and expected that a man will treat his mother on her birthday,Mother's Day or on any other celebration. But if a man always puts his mother before his girlfriend, no matter what the occasion, chances are his girlfriend will end up resenting him and leave him. The main reason why women don't like mummy's boys is because competing with the woman who gave birth to him just isn't an option.
When a mother-in-law is in the picture too much, it can make a woman feel like she isn't doing a good job at keeping her man happy since he still has another "woman" doting on him. Women like to know they're making their men happy. They don't want to hear that they can't cook or can't do things as well as their lovers' mother.
Your woman is not your maidIn the 21st century, more and more couples share domestic tasks such as laundry, cooking and cleaning. Although women don't necessarily expect all men to be chefs or Mr. Clean, they do expect them to help out. The problem is that a mummy's boy is often used to his mum cooking his meals or doing his laundry for him.
It is true that some mothers are to blame for pandering to their son's every need, but unfortunately women don't like to date men who need to be served and can't take care of themselves.
Mummy's boys are so used to being treated with unconditional love that they rarely think they're wrong. Although your mum may no longer criticise the way you dress, eat, speak, or behave, it doesn't necessarily mean that you're perfect and you don't need to mind your manners and polish your habits. For example, your mother may insist that you relax at the dinner table while she's putting away the dishes, but your girlfriend may not be as eager to do the dishes on her own.
No privacyAnother thing women dislike about mummy's boys is the fact that they sometimes make the mistake of telling their mothers certain private things. After all, no woman wants to date Ray from Everybody Loves Raymond. Often, women expect men to have difficulties talking about intimate issues, so when a woman finds out her man has been speaking to his mother about their problems, she feels betrayed.
One of my friends once received a gift certificate for a fine lingerie store from her mother-in-law. She thought it was a thoughtful gesture until her mother-in-law added "And don't buy plain cotton underwear. Josh just doesn't like them."
She felt humiliated about the fact that her boyfriend had shared such intimate details about her with his mother and hurt that he was unable to communicate his preference directly to her.
You may not talk about your girlfriend's lingerie with your mother, but there are some issues you might want to keep between you and your special lady.
Of course, a man should never be asked to choose between the woman who raised him and the woman who shags him. Fortunately, if you've been cursed with the mummy's boy syndrome, there are ways for you to show equal love and respect to your lover and mother.
She might be a saint, but it doesn't mean that she can't be unreasonable and manipulative.
Stand up to your motherThe first thing a man can do to avoid being ditched for being a mummy's boy is create a new relationship with his mother as an adult. If you've ever been called a mama's boy, chances are your mother is too intrusive and you need to learn how to say no to her.
She might be a saint, but it doesn't mean that she can't be unreasonable and manipulative. Your mother already knows you love her and would do anything for her, and that is precisely the problem. She knows you can't say no.
So, once in a while, even through her tears and attempts at emotional blackmail, let your mother know how good your girlfriend is to you and how important it is that she remains part of your life.
It's OK to tell your mother when you are looking forward to that romantic weekend you have planned for you and your girlfriend. It is also OK to tell her that she doesn't need to make sandwiches for the road.
Remember your girlfriendThis is the most important point in order to maintain a good relationshipwith your girlfriend: Every time you cancel plans with your girlfriend for your mother, make sure you rectify the situation later on (if there is a later on).
Never let your girlfriend feel that she comes second and that your mother always has the last word. If your girlfriend witnesses you giving in to your mother's unreasonable requests, make sure that she also witnesses you saying no to your mother.